To be fair, some of the blame for your misbehavior falls on us. A red flag should have gone up the moment you instructed your server, Cassandra, to keep Long Island Iced Teas "coming all night long". Our wait staff has been trained to closely monitor the alcohol consumption of any clients who are unwilling or unable to drink responsibly. Cassandra failed enormously at this duty, and was censured accordingly for her negligence.
But we're not going to accept full responsibility for your drunken impropriety. You must be aware that such a vulgar display far exceeds the bounds of appropriate conduct. We noted that you both left on your sunglasses, jeans and shoes during the act, but assure you that being partially clothed does little to mitigate the seriousness of your offenses. Public intercourse in any state of dress will rarely be condoned by those around you, particularly if they're trying to run a reputable business.
Your choice of coital settings further illustrated your crass disregard for fellow revelers. Fornicating on the couch and floor is one thing; doing so on the table and bar is another matter entirely. This establishment is licensed to serve food, and your actions were in clear violation of innumerable health codes. Mildew spots in the kitchen can typically be overlooked should the health inspector pay an unannounced visit. Defending sex on our public dining surfaces would pose a significantly greater challenge.
No less serious was the pronounced impact you had on our bottom line. VIP tables were in high demand that night, and your escapades on top of one prevented us from placing paying customers in a premium seating area. Similarly, copulating as you were on the bar obstructed our bartenders' views of their clientele, thereby hampering their ability to take and distribute drink orders. Moving your dalliances to the bathrooms added a thin layer of discretion and courtesy, but by that point the damage had been done.
We shouldn't have to tell you that simply closing your eyes does not remove the other guests from the club. They were still there, and it was very obvious what you two were doing. So while it saddens us to lose your patronage, please trust us when we say that the two of you are no longer welcome in The Club. We hope that next time you go out and feel the urge to "give it" to your acquaintance "non-stop", as Cassandra reports hearing you say, better judgment will kick in. And maybe then, you will care who is watching.
Respectfully,
The Club management