wEiNErS, JIM?© Official Constitution
Article I: The Premise of the Game – wEiNErS, JIM?© is a fast-paced, action-packed race against time to turn a pile of letters into the phrase “wEiNErS, JIM?©”.
Article II: The Spirit of the Game – The Founders intend wEiNErS, JIM?© to be not only a pleasurable experience for its participants, but also an entertaining event in which all observers benefit.
A. wEiNErS, JIM?© is not for everyone. Only those with a competitive spirit and an open mind will truly get the full benefit of such a thoughtful game. (A little alcohol prior to game play may also be useful.)
B. The beauty of wEiNErS, JIM?© is that it may be played with any number of players ranging from 1 – infinity. This flexibility encompasses the true intentions of the game: Enjoyment and Brotherhood.
C. wEiNErS, JIM?© is not only a game, it’s a frame of mind. To be successful, one must immerse oneself into the game. One must breathe wEiNErS, JIM?©
The setting was Spring Break ’01. Founders Chris Voisine and Neil Janowitz, while waiting for their “slower-than-syrup-running-down-the-cheek-of-TA’s face” brothers, had a vision that has now become wEiNErS, JIM?©. The series of events leading to that fateful moment are as follows:
A) The beautiful Jenni earned the favor of sexy Mike Sweeney by ironing his shirt.
B) God-among-mortals Mike cut out the letters M – I – K – E out of a piece of paper and gave them to Jenni as a thank you present.
C) These letters were confiscated by the Founders who then proceeded to cut out additional letters.
D) After some deliberation, the phrase “JEwiSH JENnI” was fabricated. This phrase would soon be transformed into the legend.
E) Random word combinations flowed from the fingertips of the Founders and an interesting combination was formed: “wEiNErS JIM”
F) Although already a comical phrase, the Founders thought it necessary to add something else to the expression: the comma and the question mark; strategically placed to provide proper accent.
And with that, wEiNErS, JIM? was conceived on the eve of Saturday March 10th, 2001. So actually it was created on March 9th. You see, the eve of March 10th is really the night of March 9th, which was a Friday. Okay?
The first official wEiNErS, JIM? game was played at the home of Sir Matthew Cummins. It was played in the kitchen of the west wing flat. The first competitors were appropriately Founders Janowitz and Voisine. Official timekeeper was Terrance something (I don’t know his last name). Mm-mm good Sweeney was there, as well as Joe “JJHD” Belisle, Jenni, the Brit, and assorted other spectators. The first recorded time was 23 seconds.
The wEiNErS, JIM? empire was born.
Article V: wEiNErS, JIM? Phrases and Hand Signals
A. The official wEiNErS, JIM? motto is the Latin phrase…
“Fructus Fructus itaque Amicitia”
…meaning “Enjoyment and Brotherhood”.
a. The official wEiNErS, JIM? hand signal is made with one’s right hand. The w is formed with the index through pinky fingers. The index finger represents the left arm of the w while the ring finger overlapping the middle finger makes up the middle arm. The pinky finger constitutes the right arm of the w.
b. The J is made with the index finger and the thumb; the index finger being the straight part, and the thumb being the hook. A graphic of the hand signal may be found on the official wEiNErS, JIM? website (www.eclecticfool.com/wj).
c. The hand signal may be appropriately used at any time during the day or night as a sign of brotherhood. It is also used as the last step in completion of a wEiNErS, JIM? game. Only when the game participants flash the hand signal, may the timer stop the clock.
C. New, unofficial mottos may be suggested at any time, by anyone. They must be approved by both Founders in order to be added to the Constitution. New mottos will be added to the Constitution under Article VI: Additional Mottos.